Love me, love me
Say you do
Let me fly away
With you
We're creatures of the wind
Wild is the wind
-Wild is the Wind-
(I'm thinking more Cat Power than Nina Simone)

*
I must be a difficult person.
People tell me this.
I don't like surprises, disappointment, indiscretion, indecision, impoliteness.
I think my expectations are few.
*
When I'm tired and moody from work
I'd like you to run me a bath and sit by the tub to smoke cigarettes with me.
When we are deciding about eating out
I'd like for you to (a) make the decision; (b) not choose the same Japanese restaurant we ate at the last time, although I really did like it; (c) not give me options; (d) keep the candlelit crap minimal; (e) make bookings then tell me.
I often mean no when I say it,
Do not assume I'm like the other girlies.
No games, no mixed signals, no fucking ambiguity.
Easy.
*
The eyes tell all.
Intentions -
Flanked by the heart and mind.
Signs -
Summoned by expectations.
*
Today reminded me of December in Singapore.
Not that it ever gets that cold there.
The sound of wheels over rained-on asphalt,
The colour of light lost in the clouds.
*

it's probably freaky that i still remember it.
eleven years after polka-dotted t-shirts and decks,
walks with the shar-pei and your bike.
i might be a day late,
but happy birthday, colin.

At 16 minutes to eight
Folds of slate churned amongst illuminated blue.
I hoped then that the winds will take the clouds away.
The sun rises while I'm in the shower and sets while I'm at work-
I hardly notice hours falling through the tin roof.

Now 2 minutes past nine
And there is a crisp glow all around outside.
Coffee, toast, and banter are in the air.

I'm much calmer these days.
It must be a good thing,
That I think before yielding to the pull of emotions.
Although it sometimes means that the most intense of reactions are delayed.

It looks like mid afternoon outside.
Rays that bounce off the ridiculously tall palm outside,
Lighting up the dull bricks, slimy roofs, dew-kissed grass.

i want to be a good woman
and i want for you to be a good man
this is why i will be leaving
this is why i can't see you no more
i will miss your heart so tender
and i will love this love forever

-catpower-

That as I walk away from you
A tingle tugs-
You're unhappy.
You're mad.
You need me.
That I give a fuck
About your next meal, your drive home.
I'd like to protect you from the daggers of thought.
And cushion you from the lonliness of idleness.
As I turn around
I feel the heavy eyes peer down
Not wanting to watch me go.
If only I could lift you up
Without your weight pulling me back down.
I ache as I see you grind the corners of your mind
In search of the simplicity you crave.
The early mornings of your hand in mine
So far away, so far gone.
I've led you all this way
Not knowing we'd gone no where.
I will miss your eyes.

How many shades of pink can you see
And how many can you name?
When the sky alternates between school blue and pearl grey
I sit yellow under sickly fluorescent bells.
Between a waffle cone and dismissal time
There's work to be done-
Working on looking like I'm working.
I'm all wrong today
In rust, navy, and black ink.
Boredom inches closer to the nerves.
Stillness never bores me,
Instead I often find myself restless amidst activity.
Words that need to be said
I've stored Tupperware-fresh.
Always waiting,
Waiting till it's all too late.
Knotted in an awkward bunch with
Knowing, seeing, acting.
Too hard.