It's hard. There. I said it.
I'm guilty of pride. Amongst other things.
**
When the days keep coming and people
Go on as they always do;
When all things remain constant
But it's taking just that little bit longer to
Get up to where you were yesterday.
**
What's wrong? You ask.
What's right? I reply.
**
Last week I cried every night.
I'd climb up the stairs, switch on the light
And sit down for a breather.The tears would come.
Of panic, fear, reluctance, helplessness.
**
When you're below the flatline of normality
It's twice as hard to maintain the usual high because
You first have to struggle to reach the surface then
Lug yourself up to a decent level again.
Twice the effort. Twice the resilience.
**
I sometimes get so tired of homogeneity.
Sporadic volatility is much more my style.
**
When you realise the world keeps going
About its routine and
You're just another unhappy needle in a cornfield.
When things finally catch up with you, or
Perhaps you finally catch up with things.
**